Haha... Blast from the Past.

Haven't looked at this in a while... wow. For anybody who happens upon this glimpse into my past, it's just that. A glimpse into my past.

I'm now studying physics and secondary education at Valparaiso University. Work as a photographer, personal assistant, Resident Assistant, and sometimes tutor.

And that'll probably just about wrap up my blogging. Jon, I know you're probably the only person who'll read this :-P... Thought I oughtta have something here in case somebody gets access to it through my Google account.

Peace out, folks.

Summer-smell

So I rode my bike home from working (and swimming!) today, and since the garage door was closed, I left it sitting outside. A little while ago I went out to bring it in, and was immersed in the smell of a warm summer night. You know what's funny? I have loads of memories of summer nights for my mind to pick from, but immediately upon recognizing the smell, it launched me into a parking lot, standing, talking after Compline. It was surprising to me how easily that particular memory slid back, and how distinctly I had associated the smell of a summer night (a smell that can apply to so many memories) with it.

Anywho. It was wonderful to be once again for a moment caught up in the remarkable calm and contentment of conversing warmly after prayer at the close of the day. Thank the Lord for the great blessings that those nights were, my fondness of which I had quite forgotten.

Last Student Help Day EVER

So ends my experience with the pseudo-school day of Martin Luther. Breakfast with my future roomie at the Pancake House, studying some physics, finishing leftover goodies from Thursday, and a chat with Mr. Doerr. Good stuff.

Realized that Thursday was my last "normal" day of high school too. Well... unless I end up teaching high school. But that'd be different. And so, with just under a week until graduation, I can say that I'm about to turn the page on high school. I wonder what's on the next one :)

Busy afternoon, sweet night

So today in physics Mr. Limmer tells us that tomorrow will be a laid-back party type day of card playing... unless one opts to study. Natalie told me I should bring lemon poppy seed bread, and seeing as I LOVE lemon poppy seed bread, I said I would. THEN we were talking about the homemade frosting on the brownies at school, and I said I made a mean homemade cream cheese frosting. At which point Limmer told me that now I had to prove it. In the mood to take up a challenge, I said I'd do that too.

So my big mouth led to two things: first, that I was running around all afternoon getting stuff to make lemon poppy seed bread, cream cheese frosting, and chocolate cake (what else are you going to do with a whole batch of frosting?). Being slightly distracted as I tend to be, I ended up having to make two trips to pick n' save, trips to Kohl's and Target (I was put in charge of getting a frame for our senior picture for Wiegert), and a trip back home to get my debit card in between because I had two dollars less than I needed. It was a very very busy afternoon.

On the upswing, the second result is that now I have a large loaf of lemon poppy seed bread, a beautifully decorated devil's food cake, and a decent sized tub of left-over cream cheese frosting all sitting on the counter at home! A sweet night indeed : )

Woodchucks

It is official. Our yard and back woods have been invaded by dangerous-someday-later but right now tiny and adorable woodchucks. The four woodchuck babies are often seen playing on the wall and eating leaves.

I even saved one of them from the windowwell earlier today, when I was locked out of the house. It had fallen in, and I netted him and brought him back to his little baby woodchuck hole.

Goodness... the things spring does to people. What'll be next?

Long time no... blog?

It just seems wierd to me that "blog" is a verb. Anywho... thought I'd toss some thoughts on the screen quickly before bed, since it's been literally months since I've written anything.

A brief update on the life and thinking of Kayla Kutz:

I believe my interests have shifted, perhaps even stabilized. I have discovered that physics is awesome - especially electromagnetism and particle physics. It's math, to be sure... complex math, even. But I find this applied math and sub-atomic stuff fascinating. Which in turn makes me feel like a total nerd. Ah well. After so much biology, I was pretty turned off to science in general. This, though, makes me think perhaps I have found my niche. I'm going to get some books to study over the summer.

Talked to Pr. Fab at music awards night, and he told me again that he knew a couple good churches within 10 miles of Valpo. I'm thinking with no car, maybe I shouldn't find someone to ride with every Sunday and bike instead. Figure if I'm going slow ten miles will take me forty minutes, and that's if I'm going slow. But it could be a decent workout and prevent my getting lazy over the next year. At least until the snow comes around :).

I am very ready to be done with school and run on my own schedule. It's been easy going lately with AP tests over and all, and not to say that I don't love a good studyhall, but really. It's getting to be rediculous and I'm not exactly sure why we're still in class, save for the fact that the school needs to get a certain number of days in. I'm sure I'll miss it all eventually, but right about now I think it'll be a happy day when I leave the educational system of Martin Luther High School for studying physics and Latin under a summer sky of my own accord.

Anyway, these have been the somewhat random ponderings of Kayla Kutz lately. Perhaps I'll get back into blogging (*shakes head*... verb... ) now that school drawing to a close. And now that I have my own computer!

Ah, the future.

I'm posting again! That's right, you are once again free to view the true, yet quite possibly uninteresting, thoughts of Kayla Kutz.

The theme of my late summer thinking has been growing up. Jenny told me soon after TOS that Katie and Jeremy were engaged. I used to live by Katie... we would play on her gigantic swing set and she would tell me the really smart things she was learning in school (much more interesting than my simple math and english grammar, of course). And now, she's engaged. That makes me feel very old, even if I am only going to be a senior in high school.

On top of that, most of the people I've been hanging out with and talking to this summer are older than I am... be it a couple years, or several. They've shared with me insights and knowledge that would have taken me far longer to come to on my own. When I was working at tos, I got to talking to one of the other vendors. He said I was like "an old jewish woman in a seventeen-year-old's body," commenting on my "grandmother wisdom." The thing is, that wisdom isn't mine at all. It came from people who earned it by living. Although I feel a little like I'm cheating by being given these bits of insight, it does make me feel older. More able to wait, to listen, to observe, to be content where I am and not afraid to move on should the opportunity come.

I'm excited about getting older, about "growing up" and seeing what waits for me. I'm excited about meeting new people and getting closer to people I already know. I'm excited to learn, to understand, to adapt, and to hold firmly to that which is my foundation. I'm excited to be reproached in the future when I lose sight of the Gospel in its purity, because every time I am corrected the knowledge of that Gospel is assured in me.

In light of all this excitement, however, there is a tinge of sadness. I am leaving a point in my life behind. Soon there will be more responsibilities to take care of. Soon things beyond decent schoolwork will be expected of me. Soon the time in my life when it's easy to go back will be over, and the choices I make will be more permanent. Soon opportunities and chances will be gone, lost forever in the tide of might-have-beens.

My life is going determinedly onward, and most of the time I cant tell if it's being pushed or pulled. There are things past and present I want to leave behind that cause me to strain forward, and things I hold on to for fear that time will draw me helplessly away from them. It's scary, growing older. Something I'm able to smile about, but something scary and dangerous as well. I don't want the wonderful people of my present to become mere memories in my future, though I'm sure that is the fate of some of them. I don't want to forget what I hold dear now.

While the future holds many uncertainties, many fears, and no doubt many trials, I have resolved not to fear it. I will learn to be content with whatever comes my way. I know that the Holy Spirit will keep me in the one true faith, and as long as I have that I'll be good to go : ). I have been crucified with Christ, and born again of water and the Word. All my fear and worry, my doubt and unbelief, pain now and pain to come, the troubles that await me, have been taken to the cross. Christ has secured my future as a redeemed heir to eternal life... and compared to that, this life is hardly a breath. I will not fear the unknown, because Christ has been made known to me - and He will never change.


Why should cross and trial grieve me?
Christ is near, with His cheer;
Never will He leave me.
Who can rob me of the heaven
That God's Son for me has won
When His life was given?

When life's troubles rise to meet me,
Though their weight may be great,
They will not defeat me.
God, my loving Savior, sends them;
He who knows all my woes
Knows how best to end them.

God gives me my days of gladness,
And I will trust Him still
When he sends me sadness.
God is good; His love attends me
Day by day, come what may,
Guides me and defends me.

From God's joy can nothing sever,
For I am His dear lamb,
He, my Shepherd ever.
I am His because He gave me
His own blood for my good,
By His death to save me.

Now in Christ, death cannot slay me,
Though it might, day and night
Trouble and dismay me.
Christ has made my death a portal
From the strife of this life
To His joy immortal!

LSB 756

A Taste of Summer

This is a speed-post... something more structured is in the works. Storms are amazing

I've probably told you all of this already, but I'm going to put a bit of the experience down here anyway. Thus far, A Taste of Summer proved true to its name... it was a very rainy year, and I'm not sure we've gone a day since with out a bit of precipitation. One pair of tennis shoes was damaged in the insane rain at the festival... I think I should charge those bands for it : P. if they didnt need their soda, water, and beer, I wouldnt have been stuck at mainstage crossing ponds to get from trailer to trailer. Then again... I suppose dancing through the flooded grounds might have had something to do with it... hmm...

Anywho, the office was just as hectic as I remembered. We were told to give people less information than we had in order to make the job easier... things were forgotten and remembered regardless of their importance... and, of course, the Gratz's n' co. did little to take care of themselves. Hence the reason for waking up early to make toast and give wakeup calls : ). All in all, the crew survived. There were teary moments, times when it was easier to simply cease to care, and early hours of the morning (after clockhours and before) when everyone was slap-happy... all of this supplimented by a whole lot of caffiene. Oh yes... and unorganization at its finest, of course

So that was my festival fun. It'll be interesting to get the paycheck... ah well. what will be will be. Like I said there's a post with more thought put into it on the way. Hopefully soon. Hehe and oh yeah... remind me sometime not to get a SoT book when I'm trying to accomplish getting through the Bible...

Africa

This song was in my head today. I was looking around YouTube to find an a cappella group that could sing it (cuz i know there are some great arrangements), but nothing really stuck out. This guy makes it sound cool on the guitar though : )

An Update

Alright - as requested, the current thoughts of Kayla Kutz. Nothing "deep", just what's on my mind

Yesterday I went and had my fun little meeting with Mr. Bangert about college and senior year, that sort of thing. It was overall quite uneventful... he asked if I had any idea where I wanted to go, I said a private school, he asked what I wanted to do, I said I wasn't quite sure. This meeting, however uneventful, represents the source of some anxiety for me: what I'm going to do with my life. Everyone has their opinions to give... my parents are encouraging me to go into the medical field - with good reason. Job security, not having to live paycheck to paycheck, an honorable title... who would blame them for wanting that for their child. I've been doing this "medical explorers" program at waukesha memorial... it's cool... I get to job shadow, see fun stuff like pacemakers put in and everything. If there's something not so educational that I've taken from it, though, it's that I dont really like hospitals. They just seem too cold and sterile for my liking. Mr. Wiegert suggested that I become an elementary band teacher : ). I personally really like this idea - I love music, like to teach, and have a good amount of patience with kids. When I presented this to my mom, however, she said that I would not be making the most of my talents.

And so, here is my dilemma: to find a job that I can really enjoy, and that makes sufficient use of what I'm good at... and that my parents can respect. They're so concerned about the money part... "If you can get a high-paying job that you'll enjoy, why wouldnt you pick that over a low-paying one?" Aka why teach when I could be a doctor, or something of the sort. I'm not sure I know the answer... it all makes for a very clouded future.

But back to the present. I'm really hoping my parents let me go to church tonight... I havent communed for three weeks and it's driving me crazy! Singing about it is certainly wonderful, but nothing beats the true body and blood of the Lord. On the bright side, I did get to pray compline... in a chapel, in the company of some awesome people... with incense! most definately the highlight of my week : ) I've been given quite a blessing in the lot of you.

So there you have it... the current joys and anxieties of Kayla Kutz. Hehe oh yeah - here's one of those awesome things I didnt mention before:

We praise You and acknowledge You, O God, to be the Lord,

The Father everlasting, by all the earth adored.

To You all angel powers cry aloud, the heavens sing,

The cherubim and seraphim their praises to You bring:

"O holy, holy, holy Lord God of Sabaoth;

Your Majesty and glory fill the heavens and the earth!"

You, Christ, are King of glory, the everlasting Son,

Yet You, with boundless love, sought to rescue ev'ryone:

You laid aside Your glory, were born of virgin's womb,

Were crucified for us and were placed into a tomb;

Then by Your resurrection You won for us reprieve-

You opened heaven's kingdom to all who would believe.

Smiles

I've been reminiscing lately. About grade school, about old high school times, about my past in general. Things pop up all over the place that remind me of someone or something or sometime. It's an intriguing experience that I havent really had before.


For example... I was driving my mom home from her choir practice, and she decided we should stop at the grocery store. About thirty seconds from the entrance, a whole new world came on the radio. : ) I was excited, and surprised, and all at once a tide of memories came flooding to the forefront of my mind. It's the kind of feeling that makes you want to just sit back with your eyes closed and exist. Unfortunately, that's not the best plan while you're driving towards a building. So my mother tactfully advised me to slow down and sit normally, which i did... but I couldnt get rid of the subconcious smile that was fueled by memories of cast parties and band tours, senior servant days and a trip to Florida with good friends.

Other than in remembering these wonderful times, that smile with a mind of its own pops up in various places. When I'm reading, when I hear a good song, when something becomes clear... and when I'm hearing about Christ. Plain and simple, no strings attached glorification and proclamation of everything He has done and is doing... in that I cannot help but smile. I smile a lot, I know I do. I cannot help it - and in this there is not fleeting joy that comes from memories, but a living, present joy that no amount of time can erase.

Hmm...

I dont know why that last post is dated October 5th... I wrote it today... hmmm....

Coasting time

Just wanting to say here's to the amazing college kids I know and love. Wish I could see you all more often. "Don't it always seem to go, that you dont know what you've got til it's gone.." yep, thats for sure. I know you're the only one who'll read this Jon, but ah well : ). It shouldnt go without being said. Miss you all dearly

Hmm.. update on my life... it's been pretty boring lately. Swim is over now - that season was definatly a blast. Drama has ended too... and I'm really glad I did it. I'll have to remember to thank my mom for forcing me to do musical... anywho, because of it now I talk to a bunch of people I probably wouldnt be otherwise. But no more extracurriculars now save for band... just school day in and day out... coasting into the Thanksgiving and Christmas seasons

Ah, school. The place where I spend the majority of my life! While homework may suck like no other, school functions or even just the classroom are a great place to talk to people. Not deep conversations by any means, but just a shared joke or comment. There are a bunch of people I wouldnt be nearly as good friends with if we didnt see each other day after day, stuck in the same crappy class. There's something to be said for sharing troubles, you know... even trivial ones.

I get to talk to mr. doerr on a regular basis now - there's an upside to no sports! I dont know who I would talk to about church/theology stuff if Mr. Doerr wasnt there... he's busy a lot of course, but it's nice to know there's someone right up the stairs who will listen to whatever I'm wanting to talk about. He's a good guy, that mr. doerr.

Well... that's about all I can think of for now. I'll update if something interesting happens or if for some reason there's something to write about. Grace & peace to you and all my friends outside the high school. Hope to see you sometime

Such is life...

Alright.. this is rough and there's a lot missing, but I thought I'd post it anyway. I considered only putting the first few paragraphs up, but somehow ended up not. I'll probably do an "Update on the life of Kayla" later on. This is just what was on my mind.

Time. It never stops, does it? Even when we get away - go on vacation, find a good book to lose ourselves in - time is there, ticking away the minutes, hours, days until things will once again be expected of us, when we'll have responsibilities and concerns and worries.

Life and time... they dont wait for anyone, do they? We are all swept away in the current, powerless to stop the flow. Even as time sweeps us along without ceasing, life threatens to drown us, pull us under into hoplessness and despair.

But wait! Look - a hand reaches down into the crashing swell of our world. Places a redeeming life jacket on we who can do nothing to keep ourselves afloat. We are wrapped in Christ - that personal flotation device that attatches Himself to us by his own body and blood and brings us to the surface in baptism, giving us the breath of the Holy Spirit. Alleluiah! Our hoplessness, weakness, sinfulness has been overcome! Not of ourselves, but because the Father reached down to us and sent a Savior.

Even so - who wants to be dependant? Just like kids who are so reluctant to wear their life vests, we are offended by it. Who says we need to be saved? I'm a strong swimmer... I can stay above the water all by myself thank you very much!

But no... that precious Savior doesnt abandon us to the tide, despite our indignant attitude. He is steadfast in His love, always turning our faces to the surface. Showing us branches to anchor ourselves on and rocks to cling to when the going gets rough. He never leaves us, but sacrifices Himself for us! Because of this, we may one day hear the Lord say to the turbid waters of life- "Peace, be still"

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10

Point of Interest

At church sunday morning, I was sitting in back listening sort of half-hartedly to announcements. Then one of the pastors said something that caught my attention... apparantly they are going to be doing a Bible study on "the Christian faith from the Lutheran perspective." As he was telling us about it he said "We dont really get to go into this during the service, so it's a great chance to learn... blah blah blah... so we encourage you to be a part of that." This is when the flashing lights went off in my head.. WHAT?!.. are you saying we arent preaching our faith during church?! I was shocked. Not only at the concept, but at the fact that he said it right out loud and didnt seem to think it something to be acted upon! sure, they're doing a Bible study, but how the heck are they supposed to get the whole congregation in there to learn something as important as that? They cant. Hmm.. you know what would be better than a full-congregation bible study? A CHURCH SERVICE! i just dont get it...

So what is there to do? Just sitting here and not doing anything doesnt seem right. But I cant go to the pastor and tell him I have an issue with something, either. Quite the knot. What I can do, bare minimum, is pray. Pray for wisdom and insight to the pastors, understanding for the congregation, and faith for all. May God answer these prayers according to His will.

I know my church isnt exactly held in high esteem by the other LCMS churches in the area... we arent traditional, we dont use the hymnals or therefore the liturgy, we sing contemporary music with a few common hymns here and there. I completely understand where people have issues with that. Dont always agree, but understand. Becoming more and more evident, however, is an underlying problem... something having to do with the very nature of what we preach. I have just never heard it put so plainly before, and by one of the pastors.

Something else they said... they were trying to figure out the "business of the church" - the money and so forth - and stated that their main focus was going to be bringing people to Christ. Dont get me wrong, that's great. After all, we've been commissioned to "Go and make diciples." But what about after they've been brought to Christ? What about caring for them, educating them in the faith, "teaching them ALL that I have commanded you" ? One would argue that's what church is for. But didnt he just say that we dont really get to teach "the Christian faith through the Lutheran perspective" in church?

So this is what's been floating around in my head lately. May God continue to be with His church on earth always, to the very end of the age. Grace, mercy, and peace.

- Kayla

Blessings...

Nothing interesting to write about really, just felt like writing.

It's easy to be happy when things are going well. The job's good... a little boring maybe, but i get to do the all the jobs no one wants to do. Filing, organizing, paperwork... And you should see their faces when i say i've finished! They have relief and gratitude written all over them - the look that you give when you know you've just been saved time and energy on a dumb job you have left undone for 2 years. (no joke - some of this stuff is from ages ago). It's a great look to have aimed at you.

I've even been able to actually see a bunch of my friends! Last summer i saw a couple, but didnt really get to hang out with anyone. Lately, thanks to bible study and us actually planning things to do ( i.e. six flags, bike riding), the summer has been better than normal. Even without this, aim helps too : ). To make things better even, I have NYG when i'll get to spend time with a bunch of people, not to mention random graduation parties. Apart from keeping up with old friends, Im making new ones through work and at church. It's just been a great summer so far.

And so, I'm thankful! Immeasurably thankful to and for my friends, my co-workers, the fun i've had, the opportunities i've been given, the overall way the summer has gone. All thanks to the Lord Almighty who has blessed me with all this and more. It's just plain amazing. period.

So many questions

It seems that lately I have so many questions, about all sorts of things. Questioning myself, questioning others, questioning why things are the way they are. Ultimately, questioning God. Such a foolish thing to do, seeking to understand when some things just arent meant to be understood. But then... which things should I seek to understand? And the questions trail on! Questions that spring not only from seeking to understand, but from doubt. Really though, who am I to doubt? I truly do think too much. By the way... what does that mean: "I think not, therefore I am not"?

Somewhere in Proverbs it says "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom." Question #93055948377574: are wisdom and understanding the same thing? It doesnt seem that way, but i dont know how. How much easier it would be if i didnt wonder, just took things as they came and that was that. Unfortunately, that's not how I work really.

And so, as unanswerable questions pile and the answerable ones confuse themselves, I find there is only one thing that gives me a true contentedness: knowing that Christ has saved me despite my infinite sinfulness, and that God reigns over all, now and forever.

Found the words to the hymn the band played at graduation. They seemed to fit well here, so I'll put them down (even if only for me :] )


Christ be my leader by night as by day;
Safe through the darkness, for he is the way.
Gladly I follow, my future his care;
Darkness is daylight when Jesus is there.

Christ be my teacher in age as in youth,
Drifting or doubting for he is the truth.
Grant me to trust him; though shifting as sand,
Doubt cannot daunt me; in Jesus I stand.

Christ be my savior in calm as in strife;
Death cannot hold me, for he is the life.
Nor darkenss nor doubting nor sin and its stain
Can touch my salvation: with Jesus I reign.

LW#365

Hmm.. haven't written anything in a while...

But what is there to write about? Yes, it's summer vacation, but so what, really? Sure, no school. Yahoo! Not to mention the fact that it's nice outside (so long as it isnt sweltering and humid). Actually, my favorite time of the summer will end in a couple of weeks.

After the beginning of June my mom and brother both come home from school. Don't get me wrong, it can be nice having them home, but not as nice as a quiet house. Ah, how I love these first weeks when I'm the only one home! It means no one nagging on me to "be productive," means I can randomly go for a walk/run or sit and read in the yard without getting odd looks from the family, means I can sing whatever I want however I want : P. It's just great to have these freedoms I dont have while the rest of them are home.

I've kinda gotten back into playing piano. I quit in 5th grade because of a crappy teacher, but now I'm coming to appreciate it more. : ) Who knew what simple chords could do for the weary mind? That's another thing... when im alone I get to play whichever hymns I want however many times. I had been playing Cheif of Sinners Though I Be for a while, because I liked how it sounded and it was fairly easy. My mother got tired of hearing it and told me to stop, because it was a "sad song." I told her I liked it and how was it sad... it was all gospel! Didnt really give me a straight answer... but i stopped anyway.

Ah well.. this post was a little pointless, but better than nothing. Perhaps later I'll think of something more iteresting...

Hmmm...

I told you I would put any questions or opinions I had while you were gone here, so here goes:

This is what you said from September 07, 2005-
"So why all these songs with I and me. Even if its somethign like "Lord, I praise YOU" Why does the Lord even notice "praise" from a sinful person. I put praise in parenthesis because can we even praise God on our own?"

No! of course not. We cannot by our own reason or strength believe in Jesus Christ OR come to Him. How can we praise someone we cant even believe in? So now that that's completely clear, to the other part. God notices our praise because of Christ. The curtain was torn in the temple when Jesus died because the barrier sin put between ourselves and God had been conquered. Thanks to Jesus, we are both saint and sinner. Here's where i get unsure: do the praises of His saints (notice how it's HIS doing) please him? We know we can do nothing to make God love us any more or less. At least that's what I was taught. But does that mean that even through Christ on the cross we cant do anything to please him?

About the I's and me's in CCM. I completely agree. We do put too much emphasis on us, when it should be at worship of all times that all emphasis is on God. But look at the Psalms:

9:1 I will praise you, O Lord, with all my heart

16:8 I have set the Lord always before me. Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.

34:4 I sought the Lord, and he answered me; He delivered me from all my fears.

88:9 I call to you, O Lord, every day; I spread out my hands to you.

89:1 I will sing of the Lord's great love forever; with my mouth I will make your faithfulness known through all generations.

147:1 Praise the Lord. How good it is to sing praises to our God, how pleasant and fitting to praise him!

I will praise, I have set, I sought, I call, I will sing. Could be wrong, but im pretty sure the Psalmist wasnt saying here that the praising was his doing seeing as later in verse 51:15 he says "Lord, open my lips, and my mouth will declare your praise." He uses I a lot actually, all (as far as i can tell) without being a heretic. Like i said before, i think you're right about most of the contemporary songs. Im just saying, just because a song says I or me doesnt mean it's disrespecting all that God's done for us.

I hope i havent misinterpreted anything that you were saying. Let me know if I was! Hehe by the way, have you ever heard "Who Am I" by Casting Crowns? I like it, and seems pretty solid to me in what it's saying. Let me know if im missing something?

Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
would care to know my name,
would care to feel my hurt?
Who am I, that the Bright and Morning Star
would choose to light the way
for my ever wandering heart?

Not because of who i am,
but because of what you've done.
Not because of what i've done,
but because of who you are!

I am
a flower quickly fading
here today and gone tomorrow
a wave tossed in the ocean,
a vapor in the wind.
Still you hear me when I'm calling,
Lord you catch me when I'm falling,
You've told me who I am:
I am yours.

Who am I,
that the eyes that see my sin
would look on me with love
and watch me rise again?
Who am I,
that the voice that calmed the sea
would call out through the rain
and calm the storm in me?

Then it repeats the two middle things. Aaanyway, that's just what was on my mind.

Friends

Wrote this during one of the bus rides on tour...

How many times have you heard someone say: "they're/we're just friends." I know I've heard it a lot, and even said it myself. But it occurs to me... to truly be a friend is hardly a "just." When used loosely, a friend is someone you enjoy spending time with. When used it its strongest form, a friend is someone whom you would give your life for, and vice versa. Either way, I find friends (true friends) to be an essential element in getting me sanely through the day-to-day.
Everyone needs someone to talk to. Otherwise, we get caught inside our own thoughts and end up lost and confused. Some people can talk to God and that is sufficient for them. I, unfortunately, am not strong enough for this to work all the time. But God's strength is made perfect in my weakness! He's blessed me with many people I enjoy spending time with, and a few with whom I feel I can share anything.
A friend can be closer to you than a family member- if you allow them to be. To open up to someone, to wear your heart on your sleeve, is a hard thing to do- for me at least. To let someone know what an who you care about is to admit a weakness or a soft spot- admit that you can be hurt. This is why trust is a major foundation on which strong friendships are built: you need to trust that whoever it is wont use what you tell them against you. I pity those who dont know what its like to have someone they trust this much. Again, Im lucky- I've been given a few :-).

"I have found that my best friends arent those I went looking for - they're those who found me."