Haha... Blast from the Past.

Haven't looked at this in a while... wow. For anybody who happens upon this glimpse into my past, it's just that. A glimpse into my past.

I'm now studying physics and secondary education at Valparaiso University. Work as a photographer, personal assistant, Resident Assistant, and sometimes tutor.

And that'll probably just about wrap up my blogging. Jon, I know you're probably the only person who'll read this :-P... Thought I oughtta have something here in case somebody gets access to it through my Google account.

Peace out, folks.

Summer-smell

So I rode my bike home from working (and swimming!) today, and since the garage door was closed, I left it sitting outside. A little while ago I went out to bring it in, and was immersed in the smell of a warm summer night. You know what's funny? I have loads of memories of summer nights for my mind to pick from, but immediately upon recognizing the smell, it launched me into a parking lot, standing, talking after Compline. It was surprising to me how easily that particular memory slid back, and how distinctly I had associated the smell of a summer night (a smell that can apply to so many memories) with it.

Anywho. It was wonderful to be once again for a moment caught up in the remarkable calm and contentment of conversing warmly after prayer at the close of the day. Thank the Lord for the great blessings that those nights were, my fondness of which I had quite forgotten.

Last Student Help Day EVER

So ends my experience with the pseudo-school day of Martin Luther. Breakfast with my future roomie at the Pancake House, studying some physics, finishing leftover goodies from Thursday, and a chat with Mr. Doerr. Good stuff.

Realized that Thursday was my last "normal" day of high school too. Well... unless I end up teaching high school. But that'd be different. And so, with just under a week until graduation, I can say that I'm about to turn the page on high school. I wonder what's on the next one :)

Busy afternoon, sweet night

So today in physics Mr. Limmer tells us that tomorrow will be a laid-back party type day of card playing... unless one opts to study. Natalie told me I should bring lemon poppy seed bread, and seeing as I LOVE lemon poppy seed bread, I said I would. THEN we were talking about the homemade frosting on the brownies at school, and I said I made a mean homemade cream cheese frosting. At which point Limmer told me that now I had to prove it. In the mood to take up a challenge, I said I'd do that too.

So my big mouth led to two things: first, that I was running around all afternoon getting stuff to make lemon poppy seed bread, cream cheese frosting, and chocolate cake (what else are you going to do with a whole batch of frosting?). Being slightly distracted as I tend to be, I ended up having to make two trips to pick n' save, trips to Kohl's and Target (I was put in charge of getting a frame for our senior picture for Wiegert), and a trip back home to get my debit card in between because I had two dollars less than I needed. It was a very very busy afternoon.

On the upswing, the second result is that now I have a large loaf of lemon poppy seed bread, a beautifully decorated devil's food cake, and a decent sized tub of left-over cream cheese frosting all sitting on the counter at home! A sweet night indeed : )

Woodchucks

It is official. Our yard and back woods have been invaded by dangerous-someday-later but right now tiny and adorable woodchucks. The four woodchuck babies are often seen playing on the wall and eating leaves.

I even saved one of them from the windowwell earlier today, when I was locked out of the house. It had fallen in, and I netted him and brought him back to his little baby woodchuck hole.

Goodness... the things spring does to people. What'll be next?

Long time no... blog?

It just seems wierd to me that "blog" is a verb. Anywho... thought I'd toss some thoughts on the screen quickly before bed, since it's been literally months since I've written anything.

A brief update on the life and thinking of Kayla Kutz:

I believe my interests have shifted, perhaps even stabilized. I have discovered that physics is awesome - especially electromagnetism and particle physics. It's math, to be sure... complex math, even. But I find this applied math and sub-atomic stuff fascinating. Which in turn makes me feel like a total nerd. Ah well. After so much biology, I was pretty turned off to science in general. This, though, makes me think perhaps I have found my niche. I'm going to get some books to study over the summer.

Talked to Pr. Fab at music awards night, and he told me again that he knew a couple good churches within 10 miles of Valpo. I'm thinking with no car, maybe I shouldn't find someone to ride with every Sunday and bike instead. Figure if I'm going slow ten miles will take me forty minutes, and that's if I'm going slow. But it could be a decent workout and prevent my getting lazy over the next year. At least until the snow comes around :).

I am very ready to be done with school and run on my own schedule. It's been easy going lately with AP tests over and all, and not to say that I don't love a good studyhall, but really. It's getting to be rediculous and I'm not exactly sure why we're still in class, save for the fact that the school needs to get a certain number of days in. I'm sure I'll miss it all eventually, but right about now I think it'll be a happy day when I leave the educational system of Martin Luther High School for studying physics and Latin under a summer sky of my own accord.

Anyway, these have been the somewhat random ponderings of Kayla Kutz lately. Perhaps I'll get back into blogging (*shakes head*... verb... ) now that school drawing to a close. And now that I have my own computer!

Ah, the future.

I'm posting again! That's right, you are once again free to view the true, yet quite possibly uninteresting, thoughts of Kayla Kutz.

The theme of my late summer thinking has been growing up. Jenny told me soon after TOS that Katie and Jeremy were engaged. I used to live by Katie... we would play on her gigantic swing set and she would tell me the really smart things she was learning in school (much more interesting than my simple math and english grammar, of course). And now, she's engaged. That makes me feel very old, even if I am only going to be a senior in high school.

On top of that, most of the people I've been hanging out with and talking to this summer are older than I am... be it a couple years, or several. They've shared with me insights and knowledge that would have taken me far longer to come to on my own. When I was working at tos, I got to talking to one of the other vendors. He said I was like "an old jewish woman in a seventeen-year-old's body," commenting on my "grandmother wisdom." The thing is, that wisdom isn't mine at all. It came from people who earned it by living. Although I feel a little like I'm cheating by being given these bits of insight, it does make me feel older. More able to wait, to listen, to observe, to be content where I am and not afraid to move on should the opportunity come.

I'm excited about getting older, about "growing up" and seeing what waits for me. I'm excited about meeting new people and getting closer to people I already know. I'm excited to learn, to understand, to adapt, and to hold firmly to that which is my foundation. I'm excited to be reproached in the future when I lose sight of the Gospel in its purity, because every time I am corrected the knowledge of that Gospel is assured in me.

In light of all this excitement, however, there is a tinge of sadness. I am leaving a point in my life behind. Soon there will be more responsibilities to take care of. Soon things beyond decent schoolwork will be expected of me. Soon the time in my life when it's easy to go back will be over, and the choices I make will be more permanent. Soon opportunities and chances will be gone, lost forever in the tide of might-have-beens.

My life is going determinedly onward, and most of the time I cant tell if it's being pushed or pulled. There are things past and present I want to leave behind that cause me to strain forward, and things I hold on to for fear that time will draw me helplessly away from them. It's scary, growing older. Something I'm able to smile about, but something scary and dangerous as well. I don't want the wonderful people of my present to become mere memories in my future, though I'm sure that is the fate of some of them. I don't want to forget what I hold dear now.

While the future holds many uncertainties, many fears, and no doubt many trials, I have resolved not to fear it. I will learn to be content with whatever comes my way. I know that the Holy Spirit will keep me in the one true faith, and as long as I have that I'll be good to go : ). I have been crucified with Christ, and born again of water and the Word. All my fear and worry, my doubt and unbelief, pain now and pain to come, the troubles that await me, have been taken to the cross. Christ has secured my future as a redeemed heir to eternal life... and compared to that, this life is hardly a breath. I will not fear the unknown, because Christ has been made known to me - and He will never change.


Why should cross and trial grieve me?
Christ is near, with His cheer;
Never will He leave me.
Who can rob me of the heaven
That God's Son for me has won
When His life was given?

When life's troubles rise to meet me,
Though their weight may be great,
They will not defeat me.
God, my loving Savior, sends them;
He who knows all my woes
Knows how best to end them.

God gives me my days of gladness,
And I will trust Him still
When he sends me sadness.
God is good; His love attends me
Day by day, come what may,
Guides me and defends me.

From God's joy can nothing sever,
For I am His dear lamb,
He, my Shepherd ever.
I am His because He gave me
His own blood for my good,
By His death to save me.

Now in Christ, death cannot slay me,
Though it might, day and night
Trouble and dismay me.
Christ has made my death a portal
From the strife of this life
To His joy immortal!

LSB 756