It seems that lately I have so many questions, about all sorts of things. Questioning myself, questioning others, questioning why things are the way they are. Ultimately, questioning God. Such a foolish thing to do, seeking to understand when some things just arent meant to be understood. But then... which things should I seek to understand? And the questions trail on! Questions that spring not only from seeking to understand, but from doubt. Really though, who am I to doubt? I truly do think too much. By the way... what does that mean: "I think not, therefore I am not"?
Somewhere in Proverbs it says "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom." Question #93055948377574: are wisdom and understanding the same thing? It doesnt seem that way, but i dont know how. How much easier it would be if i didnt wonder, just took things as they came and that was that. Unfortunately, that's not how I work really.
And so, as unanswerable questions pile and the answerable ones confuse themselves, I find there is only one thing that gives me a true contentedness: knowing that Christ has saved me despite my infinite sinfulness, and that God reigns over all, now and forever.
Found the words to the hymn the band played at graduation. They seemed to fit well here, so I'll put them down (even if only for me :] )
Christ be my leader by night as by day;
Safe through the darkness, for he is the way.
Gladly I follow, my future his care;
Darkness is daylight when Jesus is there.
Christ be my teacher in age as in youth,
Drifting or doubting for he is the truth.
Grant me to trust him; though shifting as sand,
Doubt cannot daunt me; in Jesus I stand.
Christ be my savior in calm as in strife;
Death cannot hold me, for he is the life.
Nor darkenss nor doubting nor sin and its stain
Can touch my salvation: with Jesus I reign.
LW#365
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Hmm.. haven't written anything in a while...
But what is there to write about? Yes, it's summer vacation, but so what, really? Sure, no school. Yahoo! Not to mention the fact that it's nice outside (so long as it isnt sweltering and humid). Actually, my favorite time of the summer will end in a couple of weeks.
After the beginning of June my mom and brother both come home from school. Don't get me wrong, it can be nice having them home, but not as nice as a quiet house. Ah, how I love these first weeks when I'm the only one home! It means no one nagging on me to "be productive," means I can randomly go for a walk/run or sit and read in the yard without getting odd looks from the family, means I can sing whatever I want however I want : P. It's just great to have these freedoms I dont have while the rest of them are home.
I've kinda gotten back into playing piano. I quit in 5th grade because of a crappy teacher, but now I'm coming to appreciate it more. : ) Who knew what simple chords could do for the weary mind? That's another thing... when im alone I get to play whichever hymns I want however many times. I had been playing Cheif of Sinners Though I Be for a while, because I liked how it sounded and it was fairly easy. My mother got tired of hearing it and told me to stop, because it was a "sad song." I told her I liked it and how was it sad... it was all gospel! Didnt really give me a straight answer... but i stopped anyway.
Ah well.. this post was a little pointless, but better than nothing. Perhaps later I'll think of something more iteresting...
But what is there to write about? Yes, it's summer vacation, but so what, really? Sure, no school. Yahoo! Not to mention the fact that it's nice outside (so long as it isnt sweltering and humid). Actually, my favorite time of the summer will end in a couple of weeks.
After the beginning of June my mom and brother both come home from school. Don't get me wrong, it can be nice having them home, but not as nice as a quiet house. Ah, how I love these first weeks when I'm the only one home! It means no one nagging on me to "be productive," means I can randomly go for a walk/run or sit and read in the yard without getting odd looks from the family, means I can sing whatever I want however I want : P. It's just great to have these freedoms I dont have while the rest of them are home.
I've kinda gotten back into playing piano. I quit in 5th grade because of a crappy teacher, but now I'm coming to appreciate it more. : ) Who knew what simple chords could do for the weary mind? That's another thing... when im alone I get to play whichever hymns I want however many times. I had been playing Cheif of Sinners Though I Be for a while, because I liked how it sounded and it was fairly easy. My mother got tired of hearing it and told me to stop, because it was a "sad song." I told her I liked it and how was it sad... it was all gospel! Didnt really give me a straight answer... but i stopped anyway.
Ah well.. this post was a little pointless, but better than nothing. Perhaps later I'll think of something more iteresting...
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